Growing up

I’m a little torn between at least thinking and planning for my future or just going with the flow. Sometimes I wish I had a mentor, to just tell me the pros and cons of each step i take in my career. Maybe I’ll find someone on LinkedIn or rely on the universe to do its thing!

In other news, with my new promotion, work is going to change, I’m going to learn things which is very exciting, I’m secretly praying it comes with better pay as well! For now, my plan is to give this new role one year, see how things flow.

In the meantime, I’ll look up certifications or diplomas in the same field or something that interests me because work will pay for it haha. let’s see, what else! I’ve been in a bit of a mood, with my mind taking a trip down memory lane, almost as though it’s romancing the gloomy weather.

But I’ve been pushing back and decided it’s high time to workout, do something different. The latter i haven’t quite figured out yet but I’ve started this 30 day yoga challenge ( putting it out there in the hopes that I’ll be more diligent) and so far I’ve gotten through 4 days, not bad eh?

Oh and my father’s anniversary is coming up, so I’m contemplating taking half the day off or just trying to get off work early, do somethinggg to pay my respects.

I’m growing up very slowly and I’m quite proud of the progress I’ve made so far!

Job? Job.

I got a job!!!!!!! I don’t know how I feel just yet, it hasn’t quite sunk in. But I start next week!

But hi, I got a job!!!!!!

Finding my middle path

Mood swings- can do without them, but they’re like this one nosy neighbour who shows up everyday uninvited.

Maybe it’s me, not being able to control how I react to every situation. Is it too close to my face- blocking the obvious solution? Doubt it.

I’ve studied mindfulness, but I don’t think I am truly living in the moment. I am thinking of yesterday, thinking about tomorrow. And today, is just passing by me.

I mean October is over. Here’s to a new start on living in the moment. Right now I just hear dogs barking and the clock ticking.

As they say, it’s never too late to change. Turns out there’s always a middle path. And I just need to find mine. I could blame it on giving importance to silly things that are eating me away. Or I could instead take it upon myself to just accept and move on.

I’m not sure where to begin, maybe do more of the things I enjoy? Look up a new podcast? Meditate, ah let me try that. Have you found your middle path yet?

I wonder…

I’ll tell you what, the universe always has a plan for you. Not to sound like a saint, but seriously. Up until a few hours ago, I felt as though everyone was getting ahead of me. To add more salt to the wound, I am very competitive. But, with the pandemic and the future being uncertain, I figured I should utilize my time more!

By applying for more jobs. This adult life is more than what I can take on my plate! A year ago, I did not know what I wanted to study, what my favorite color was. Now that i think about it, my likes and dislikes were always on the back burner. One that was rarely lit.

Now however, I know what I like. I have dislikes too. Some strong, others that can be overlooked. And it feels nice. To just know all of this. It shapes me as a person! So that is fun.

I also have a new hobby lately- embroidery!!! It is so therapeutic. I can get lost trying to figure out the stitch for hours. So much so, that I plan to make a little frame for a friends birthday. Exciting little project during this quarantine!

About my link, well it is broken for now. But can it be fixed, I wonder… I hope you are doing well dear reader. Times are uncertain. Yet your words can be eternal!

Image by https://menamarco.tumblr.com/post/115347524214

Found on Pinterest!

Living in the Present?

A family member is visiting a therapist. And she told us quite a few smart things today.

1. We live our whole life either stuck in the past or by thinking about the future. The future could be even the next hour. This is so true. And somehow, the whole drive back home, I had to keep telling myself to stop and just live in the moment.
2. We think- feel – behave, it’s a cycle. Whatever you are feeling right now, is because of what you are thinking. Pause. Acknowledge it, question the thought- before it transforms into your behaviour.

And another point, that i cannot recall. So it has been a day full of learning. I also made a salted caramel chocolate tart today- it was sweeeeeeeeeeeet.

Other than that,it has been a rough start to the year. However, the roads seem to be getting better. People are working on it. They are trying to smooth it over. Maybe when it rains, there will be potholes. But those will get filled too. Hang in there.

Image credit: March Johns

 

 

Smile away!

Hiii. I am close to calling it a day, and putting off my assignment for tomorrow. The submission is tomorrow. I am living on the edge lately. But but, today. i am extremely happy. Because in dance class today, the teacher said that i did very well, and it shows that I have practiced (which i did, excuse me). ALSO, she said because i was smiling, she did not notice if i made any mistakes haha.

So smile away, dear reader. Life shall be smooth sailing from there on. Every storm has to pass. I feel mine just did. I aspire to enter 2020, sounds nice too- content and happy. The new job is going well so far, I have been writing SO much, my brain sometimes gets fried. But i feel, with each article,  my speed and understanding of how the article should flow is increasing. That’s a plus.

ALSO my baking page on instagram is lethargicbaker 

Please drop by to shower me with some support haha. That’s all for today. Gooooodnight!

Image credit: Lim Heng Swee/ found on pinterest.

november has come

with exceptional news!!!! I got a part time job. woot woot. I am currently feeling very giddy and over the moon, thinking about that little extra income at the end of the month. Also, how was halloween you guys? I went dressed as Frida Kahlo. It went well! Felt very nice too, had a whole new level of confidence in me.

LILLIPUTIAN is dictionary.com’s word of the day. How is thaaat. Check it out! It  Seems to have a different pronunciation than what I always imagined. I also have my holidays going on. A few assignment submissions are there this week, then I am free free free. I have been binge watching Dr.House, and Castle. These detective shows are making me very skeptical yet observant about daily life. I also started a baking page on instagram, to just utilise all that masterchef knowledge I have gained over the years.

Other than all of this, I cannot believe november is already here! Why is time getting ahead of me? But two more months to make good use of this year! I shall let things take their course, but also have lot of fun before we ring in 2020. Happy Fall! Have a wonderful month ahead!!!

 

longest vacay ever

hiiii. my summer vacation that started almost three months ago, is unfortunately ending tomorrow. and i don’t think i am ready, i feel oddly anxious. the week is going to be filled with too much reality. i might have two interviews, i might just finally know where i am studying, i might join language classes. i have a concert to perform in, AH.

i feel as though another phase of my life is going to begin. and to be honest, i haven’t done anything productive these past few months. maybe it was because the future was already uncertain to begin with, or maybe it was the weather, my mood- life. and i dont really regret any of it. i enjoyed chilling, doing a little diy, baking and what not.

i also spent 2 weeks without a smartphone and that was the most peaceful time i have ever experienced. my new phone arrived yesterday and though i feel like i am back in the grind, i also don’t feel the need to use instagram or to constantly check my phone. so that is revolutionary in its own way. i did finish reading two novels, that was a major achievement.

but right now, i have to put one foot in front of another ad take that step into the future. and just see what happens, where it leads me and who i become. until then, adios.

good karma, where art thou?

help me understand, dear reader.. the probability of me getting into a college where 600+ students have applied and the batch intake is less than 30 students.

I am bad at maths, but i can tell the probability here lies somewhere around 0.000001 or something. it’s not bright basically. As soon as i saw the notice, and i told my mum about it, she was uber positive as always. She also had a valid point about how there 100 jobs and 10k people applying for it. you will get in, she said.

But let us be real here for a minute.. I have been an average student alllllll my life. I have occasionally prayed to be a topper because my friends were, but i guess that when unheard of. Also for this entrance exam, three years worth of syllabi was to be studied. Sure, i just graduated, i should have it all at the back of my head. No. I don’t remember what happened two days ago. My memories fade super super fast.. and I let them. clearly, that isn’t a good sign.

But anyway, i studied-ish. I went through the books, except one.. and now I am freaking out. I haven’t even applied anywhere else. not that i am super confident, it would have been a hassle to keep up with all the entrances. SO the bottom line being, I know i haven’t studied to my full.. capacity? I just realised the exam will be done in 1 hour, but the hours leading up to it are going to drive me up the wall.

I honestly want to study hard and get a good job.. because my family is kind of waiting on it to happen.. I might be running the show soon. but sometimes there is just no motivation to study. It sounds so stupid but oh well. going to get cracking on the book i left out. God bless me. and you reader, and you. WISH ME LUCK THO, i need all the good KARMA.

 

image credit: pinterest/mylastnameiscuadrado

Fruitful Changes

I used to be a couch potato, still am  occasionlly.I went through this binge eating phase for a good two years. It wasn’t until I noticed none of the clothes in my wardrobe fit me that it dawned on me. Something had to be done.

I used to be fat shamed by my friends all the time. Even my relatives. Everybody seemed to care about my body..everybody except me.
I could go to the gym? Social anxiety.I could go jogging or running? Boring.. I could go on a diet? What about my delicious pizzas then? No way. Thankfully, I came across Popsugar on YouTube.

Popsugar is actually an online magazine, they have their own beauty/food/news and fitness channel on YouTube. A variety of workouts all that can be done at home. No equipment necessary and there are variations for each level- be it beginner/ intermediate/ advanced. They have guest trainers often and new routines. I remember doing a Victoria’s Secret models workout and it wasn’t easy.

One day, a workout video featured a   Blogilates instructor called Cassey Ho. The workout was fun, yet challenging. I checked out her channel immediately and found loads of fun workout videos. But the best part of it all, was that she has a Monthly calendar. A workout calendar that you can access just by signing up for the newsletter on her website. Now honestly, I thought I was being fooled. I used to do a random video each day, until I got confused and decided to sign up for the newsletter.

Trust me, it’s the best thing to have happened to me. I get a workout calendar every month, all I need is some dedication, a yoga mat and an internet connection, obviously. And it’s all for FREE. no social anxiety, no dieting. In the comfort of my home, I began working out diligently.

I’m not going to lie to you, I honestly started working out because I wanted to fit into my old jeans. That was my only goal. But it was about six months later, that I realised working out, made me feel at peace. I looked forward to working out everyday. It became more for my inner peace than looks.

It’s been about a few weeks since I’ve began doing Yoga as well. I want to get flexible!Yoga with Adrienne  on YouTube is my favourite channel for various types of yoga videos. It’s peaceful and calming.Psyche Truth is another one of my favourite yoga channels on YouTube.

It’s been about a year since I’ve started taking care of my health seriously, both physical and mental! I’ve changed as a person. Today I realised how conscious I’ve become of the things I’m eating as well. I wanted to make an apple milkshake but the apple wasn’t very sweet, I added a few almonds and took out the box of sugar. Then I realised, there was an overripe banana, I added that instead of the sugar and my smoothie was delicious.

It’s all just a matter of time. My goals have changed from fitting into my old jean to becoming more flexible. There’s this intrinsic satisfaction,that motivates you when you’re able to master several different poses. I can’t deny the fact that I look forward to having sore muscles the next day. I know changes are happening and changes for the better and I for one I’m thoroughly loving this journey. It has also taught me a lot about being patient and to just go with the flow.

Tiny lifestyle changes that can help make your future better, are a must. I firmly believe investing in yourself by incorporating any form of exercise is not only helpful but also fruitful in the long run.