Hercules is withering

and my heart is breaking. Hercules is a cactus my friends gifted me for my birthday. They have a specific name for this type, its green with a red bulb on top. first, it was over watered, then I changed the pot, place, but doesn’t look like he will make it.

I have always liked cacti, but have never been allowed to have one at home. Since this was a gift, there was no going back. So I am very sad about my plant right now. Other than that, my exams and holidays are happening next week! I have also been studying like i must, but procrastinating too. The balance is a little hard to find. Also, heard the new BTS song ft Lauv, and all I could think of is, their collaborations and music is just GROWING. I have been thinking of attending one of their concerts soon, maybe I should write that down!

I have a 3 hour class tomorrow, that I am wondering if it is worth attending. The distance- the traffic- the attention, I could go on. Also fell on my knees while trying out this new kpop “jopping” step inspired by the latest band SuperM. My knees hurt but i got the step the second time around. It has been an eventful and extremely social week. OH, I also watched Weathering with you, the latest anime movie. It was super nice! A simple plot but very very wholesome content.

That’s all. I am going to brood over Hercules now. He would have looked like the featured image soon enough.. Hope nothing at your end is withering away!

Siren

The ambulance’s siren was loud

The road was overfilled with a crowd

Literate people, not moving an inch

But as the siren grew louder

People slowly dispersed

Hoping a life would be saved

Rather than welcomed-dead.

Universal Donor

My college has blood donation camps every year. Last year, I was underage. This year, I forgot the due date but that was until I walked out of the cafeteria and saw the van, and then people and posters-all screaming blood donation. 

I dislike injections. But I was sooo enthusiastic about wanting to donate blood, I went and filled out the registration form. I had second thoughts even after finishing the registration.

Will it hurt? And la di da da. I finished registering, checked my weight and then haemoglobin level. She pricked my ring finger, took blood put in some sort of green liquid and then ushered me to go get my BP checked. My blood pressure- normal. 

They then gave me a pouch and directed me to the chairs where donors were already present. Their chairs were also red, can you imagine. I was then asked to lie down partially and the doctor began looking for my nerve. I asked her, you’ll prick it only once, right?  No. Two three times, she said and I was speechless. Then she said just joking. Hehe. She shouldn’t scare her patients like that!!!! 

Do you’ll know how fat that needle is that they prick and put in the nerve? It’s not like our normal slim and turn injection needles. Now i sound like someone advertising for a modelling agency.  But yes,  350ml of my blood stashed away for people. It’ll be used for three people, the plasma for one, and the other two divisions for others. I was given coffee, biscuits and an apple to eat, right after! I even got a badge saying Blood Donor. 

Honestly, after seeing all that blood I did feel this new sense of joy. It was overwhelming yet satisfying to know I’ve contributed to a good cause. 

Some facts I learnt:

  1. AB blood type is the universal recipient
  2. There must be a three month gap between the donations.
  3. People with AIDs and other diseases cannot donate bloods.
  4. It’s not painful, it’s only a prick and then a bigger prick.haha.
  5. It’s satisfying to see all that blood and know that someday it will help someone, might help save a life. This realisation has had a huge impact on me.

I’m the universal donor O+. Have you ever donated blood? What was your first experience like? 

Pain

I don’t think I’m ready

Neither physically nor mentally

To recite the story

All over again

And relive the pain.

I’m dreading the day

I’m asked again

To speak out loud

About the pain

All for their gain.

It’s been three years

Yet it feels so new

The thought of it alone

Makes my heart race

Making me groan.

For I don’t wish to binge

On this memory again

And relive the horrors

Of those days again,

Until then-

I’m going to grow

Through all this sorrow

Refusing to wither-

While wishing you were here

With us, forever.

Buttery

Everything around me seems to be happening at lightening speed. I mean, in a flash, it’s all there, the solution, the clarity, next second- whoosh, gone.

It’s getting uber stressful lately, to handle things whilst trying to be calm. I’m bubbling inside with soooo many things yet I can’t talk to anybody about it. I’m not allowed to yet.

Either way, I’ve been getting super hyper and annoyed lately. I’ve tried distracting myself by watching some kdrama, but then after those two hours, I am back to square one. Then I tried yoga, and it helps.

I go from having various thoughts and worries to just peaceful bliss. My mind just empties, literally and it feels sooo good. For some reason though, this also is only short-lived, as I tend to get on with the rest of the day, the calmness disappears and there is an adrenaline rush.

I’m just hoping everything works out. I want it all to be buttery. They say, no pain no gain, they were not lying. I’m halfway there though, maybe a calm composure can help create a buttery road. honestly, I just want this year to be gooood.

What do you tend to do when you get super stressed? Do you have any tips and tricks that could possibly help meee?