Desperate to know.

‘I’m in a good headspace”  I told her today.

And then, I don’t know what triggered it, but I started thinking about all the things that went wrong. All the people that left, all the arguments we had. Everything, that can make on cringe. 

Maybe it was when, she was talking about how it’s not good to be friends with your exes that I realised, I should let you go. Or maybe it was when someone said the psychology teacher’s father passed away, that I thought of you. Or was it when the English teacher told me my assignment was incomplete without the printouts of the stories. I don’t know what it was. Was it when I saw my crush at college, and thought he doesn’t even know I exist?

I don’t know what triggered it. But all the way back home, whilst driving all I could think about was, all the bad things that have happened so far. That how no matter how much I try to be positive, negativity still seems to just come find me. 

Everytime I think I’ve got it all together, that’s when reality clears the mist for me. Or is this just me overthinking? I don’t know. Even though, I’m desperate to know. I don’t know.


2 thoughts on “Desperate to know.

  1. So many question, such dilemma and only one person who could answer them all. Who? You!
    Probably, you’re just over thinking, or whatever may be the ‘reason’ that triggered these endless thoughts, it is you who needs to answer them, no one else ever can. Should you let them go? Your choice. Your crush knowing about you? Have you talked? No, then talk. Yes, he will come and talk to you.

    So, just solve one thing with a solution, the best you could possibly find. And about having everything together, that’s just life. But that mist will clear out, always.
    All the best.


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