She Won’t Let You

“But not something sad, something humorous.” she told me asking me to write an article for a website.

But how do you expect me to write and fake happiness, when all I feel is sad and broken? I can mask it all with a facade but for what? Why should I hide what I am feeling? For years, I’ve been masking it all with a facade. The happy go lucky girl, they’d call me in school, that girl whose life seems so fun and gay, they’d say.

If only you’d step into that girl’s shoes and experience a day in her life, you’d realize what her life is really like- behind that happiness she’s faking so well. You’d witness her parents forever arguing, you’d witness her mother packing her things ready to leave the house that gives her nothing but pain. You’d realize she has no real friends, apart from her sister who stays so far away from home. You’ll see her smile, oh yes you will, but you won’t notice that it doesn’t reach her eyes.

She’ll shield herself, build walls, walls that get higher each and every moment. Hence, letting you believe she’s happy and has a great life.She won’t open up to you and spill her heart out, because she thinks you’re tired of her sob stories that never end, you’re tired of her mood swings, you’re fed up of trying to fix her, so tired of her, that you let her go leaving her alone to figure things out. And eventually, she does figure things out. A little progress each day helping her to experience smooth sailing, she’ll learn things, so much so, that when a storm’s approaching she’ll know what to do, rather than panicking.

It’s easy for us to judge a person on what they do or say, but your judgments won’t always be right. Because girls like her, whom you presumed to be happy, is the girl who is hurting but you will never know that, because she won’t let you.


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