What is friendship? Just having a few good friends you speak to occasionally, and one best friend? Maybe two? That sounds just about right.
But not in my case. In my case, friendship would be defined as having a really amazing group of friends, and then arguments-fights- ultimately, unfriendliness.
Today when my mother was talking about how I don’t have even one steady friend, it got me thinking. And who else can be blamed but me? Is my attitude? Is it my endless mood swings? Or is it just all of me? I have no idea.
I had one best friend, and trust me he was everything you could ever wish for in a best friend. We’d talk about utter nonsense, life,go out but then not everything can always be perfect can it? Things happened, and we aren’t friends anymore. Although, he claims we are. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve tried to mend it all I can, but eventually, I had to let go.
In school, there were so many bumpy friendships. When I joined college I had a really great set of friends, and then one started bitching about me, and said things about my mother I didn’t appreciate of, so I confronted her about it. That didn’t end so well,either. I lost three great friends. But I was just standing up for my mother.
It’s like I’m cursed, I get attached to people and they just end up leaving. Currently, I have this “so called” best friend of mine, who doesn’t seem to give a shit about me. I always happen to be the one to initiate the conversation, to meet her, to talk to her. She told me she got into a relationship, a month after she said yes to the guy. The amusing part? I wasn’t annoyed at all, I had lost hope on our friendship anyway.
I have a few virtual friends, does that count? I don’t know. It’s not a great feeling to not have someone you can talk to freely without any hesitation. Gosh, what is with me and friendships!
It’s because of all this that I’ve stopped confiding, I wouldn’t want a stranger to know me so well, at the end of it all. That wouldn’t be ideal. That’d be so stupid of me.
But you know what, at the end of the day, I have this absolutely amazing person- my sister. She’s turning out to be the only constant in my life, and I’m so grateful. Maybe, one doesn’t really need a best friend when you have a sister like this.